November 22, 2017

The error of


You’re expecting good news. All the signs point your way. The runes have been read, the bones have been thrown, the tea leaves make happy shapes at the bottom of the cup.

Then … things don’t go quite how you expected.

After the initial … shock, disbelief, bargaining, anger … whatever else happens the way to go is enquiry rather than advocacy.

If they’ve just made a decision after all that time, it’s likely they’ve thought through their reasons. An advocate is likely to be received with folded arms, a closed mind and an increasingly impatient attitude. The more strident your argument, the less willing a listener they’ll be.

With enquiry, you can break open their thinking. Maybe that means you can show them the error in their assumptions, maybe they’ll show you the error in yours.

Either way, enquiry is the fastest route to the other end of disappointment.

Skippy strategy: Ask to be shown.