February 7, 2022

Feeling personal


We hate conflict. It’s difficult to deal with and easily falls into the trap of being personal or the chasm of feeling personal.

We love conflict. It’s the fastest route to clarity and alignment – putting the issues and disagreements on the table, exposing the assumptions, and dealing with them outright or at least looking them in the eye and and working out what to do next.

The trick is finding the balance point between constructive and destructive criticism, between false harmony and happy-talk, and attacks that are more about the person than the issue.

How to get there? If you err on the side of harmony, focus on the issues, the facts, the philosophical differences and keep talking until you feel uncomfortable. If you’re a little personal, stop – focus only on the issues, the facts and philosophical differences.

Skippy strategy: Push the conflict until you find the balance point.